well, i don’t really have any great stories or funny antecdotes today. i just thought it was time to blog again and thought i would let everyone in on the goings on at the clarkson home. i just took chase to school and then came home to put aiden down for her nap. some days, when i take chase to school at noon, colton’s class is out on the playground for recess. the door that i drop chase off at is right next to the playground, so he gets very excited on the days that we drive up and see colton’s class out there. he always wants to jump out and run to say hi to colton. usually colton and some of his friends come over to the gate to say hi to us, but today he pulled this “run by the gate and pretend not to see us” act. now, this is fine with me because i understand his need to be silly and and act grown up…and most of the time he is really sweet and gives chase hugs through the gate, but poor chase did not understand why his big brother could not see him. there he was, clenching the gate while standing on his tippy toes to see over it yelling, “colton…here i am…colton…i’m over here.” then chase looked up at me with question in his eyes and my heart broke for him. i just grabbed his hand and said, “look at colton being so silly. he is pretending he does not see us.” we told his friends, who did see us, bye and walked back to chase’s door. finally, colton yelled from the gate “hi” to chase. so all is well with the brothers again. tomorrow is “polar express day” at the school and all the kids get to wear pajamas to school and they are watching the polar express. chase and colton are very excited to wear their pj’s to school. they have matching ones that i happen to find on sale. i was just going to have them wear their christmas pajamas from last year, but colton’s didn’t fit him anymore. so then i was going to have chase wear colton’s old ones, and i went to get colton some for this year. they did not have any at gap or the children’s place that i liked, so i reluctantly went in to gymboree, where i usually don’t buy anything because it is too expensive. i saw 2 pair of plaid pj’s…the big boy kind with the button down top and matching pants…hanging on the clearance rack. why they had christmas pj’s on the clearance rack, i don’t know. my thought was, there is no way one of these will be a size 6. i looked at the first pair and it was a 4 (chase’s size). then i looked at the second pair and it was a 6! yea! so i grabbed the 6 and went to the register, and they rang up even cheaper than they were marked…only $16. so, i figured that this was an obvious sign that i was supposed to by the 4 for chase as well. so i did. and boy are these boys cute in their christmas, plaid, big boy, polar express pajamas. the only problem is that they are a tad big in the waist. after i finish this, i am going to break out the needle and thread and try to sew a little tuck in the waist so they will be a perfect fit for school tomorrow. maybe aiden and i will wear our pajamas all day tomorrow too. i vote that chad wear his pajamas to his all day meeting tomorrow in celebration of polar express day at bauerschlag elememtary. who’s with me?

Colton: “Happy Birthday. Tomorrow will be December! I wish that you would feel good and I wish that you would have a good time and I wish that you would feel very special. I love you. Love family.”

Chase: “No…it’s Thursday. Happy Birthday Chase. Give me a hug.”

“Aiden…what are you doing?”

Aiden: “Just a second Mom. I am calling my Daddy to wish him a happy birthday.”

well, the past 4 weeks or so has been very enlightening for me. i have learned quite a bit about myself, my strengths, my weeknesses, and then those little aspects about yourself that you don’t even want to admit are there. expectations and perfectionism gets me every time. it is always better to admit. only then can you make any changes…or should i say, only then does God have any room to make changes in you. even though there are always people who have it easier and better than us, and there are people who have it a lot harder than us…there are still times that we just don’t handle life with grace and ease. the past month has been that way for me. i spent a lot of time and energy on things that don’t really matter in the long run…like cleaning, organizing, trying to make things perfect for company, typing up very detailed menus and such. do you think my kids care about any of that? NO. all they care about is that i am spending quality time with them. even the things that i had to do that was very much for them did not seem to be what they were craving from me…such as the 8-10 doctor’s appointments, christmas shopping, cleaning their rooms, doing their laundry, bathing, feeding, making pilgrim hats for all the kids in colton’s class, organizing the thanksgiving feast for colton’s class, going to the school to have thanksgiving lunch with colton in the lunch room, etc. etc. etc. needless to say, i got a little overwhelmed. i needed to be getting the house ready and grocery shopping and getting all the christmas presents ready for chad’s family to come in, yet wild horses couldn’t keep me away from the yummy thanksgiving meal from the caffeteria at bauerschlag elementary school. there was a moment last week…friday to be exact…when i realized that all the balls that i had been attempting to juggle had just come crashing down on me and were bouncing all over my kitchen floor. i had agreed to make the pilgim hats for colton’s class despite knowing that i did not have the time for it. (i am the room mom, and everyone knows that the room mom can’t say no to things like pilgrim hat design.) anyways, they were to be delivered with colton on friday morning for the kids to do a pilgrim project and guess were i found them friday at 11:30 when i went to feed chase and aiden lunch? sitting on the bar in my kitchen…very definitely NOT at the school where they were supposed to have been. the kids were getting out for thanksgiving that day, and i quickly realized that there would be no way to make them work when they came back to school after the thankgiving holiday…i mean santa in a pilgrim hat just doesn’t work. so, that was my moment. that was when the balls fell. that was when i realized that my brain capasity was full and that what was happening was that every new piece of information was kicking out something stored in there. i had received a new demand, and sending the hats had been kicked out. it was sort of freeing actually. with chase and aiden standing at my feet, waiting for their lunch, i just put my face in my hands and let the balls fall. i had taken on too much. it just wasn’t gonna to happen. i took the hats at noon when i took chase to school and only 1 kid wore one at the feast. i had to hold my tongue when i walked in colton’s class. i wanted to scream…EVERYONE IN HERE IS GOING TO WEAR A PILGRIM HAT AND LOVE IT!!!! but that’s o.k. colton, along with everyone else wanted to be an indian. oh well. chad’s family is getting here today, and guess what? the house is not decorated for christmas like it was supposed to be, food is not prepared yet, the kids are running wild, chad just got home from new york, the phone is ringing, i have to go to target, i am still in my pj’s at 12:26…oh great, i just looked at the clock and realize lunch time has come and gone…my poor kids, and i am spending time blogging instead of all those needed things because i knew i needed a break. and i’m smiling…happy…and at peace because at least the balls are on the floor and not over my head anymore.

well, a few minutes ago i came up to check e-mail, and do the limited “computer things” that i do every day and i thought to myself, “it is about time to post another blog and interestingly enough, i don’t have much to say.” it has mainly been the same ole, hum-drum stuff that i have been talking to friends about for the last month it seems…(aside: i want to write a children’s book and so i am always in search of a good title. it just occured to me that “hum-drum” might work in a title someway.)…back to life…back to reality…who remembers that song? random. anyhow, kid’s ear infections, trying to finish organizing the house, painting rooms, cleaning, laundry, trying to get ready for chad’s whole family to get here for thanksgiving, etc. etc. etc. so, i thought i would just not write anything until i had something interesting to write about. well, something that i thought was interesting anyway. and then who should call…as if hearing from a little angel perched on his shoulder saying, “pssst…hey….mindy needs something interesting to write about…hello…call her now…” the telephone rings while i sit at the computer pondering the un-eventfulness, and i hear chad on the other end. the first thing he says is, “i have bad news.” now, the thought that entered my mind first, and i don’t know why… except for it was the last conversation that we had…was that he did not have the receipt for the vacuum cleaner that i wanted to return to target today. but no. very quickly he interupted that thought with the following words. “a tree fell on the car.” i don’t know the details other than he was at lunch, and several people…3 to be exact…called him to tell him the news. my maroon honda accord that i got for my highschool graduation from my parents was parked in the church parking lot, surrounded by huge oak (i think) trees. we are having an extremely windy day…although beautiful and a whole tree fell on top of the car. windows smashed and all. a little worse than a missing receipt, but not as bad as it could have been. i am very thiankful that no one was in the car. i am very thankful that it was not the van…the only way i have to get the kids around. i am very thankful that no one is hurt. i am very thankful that it was chad’s voice on the phone instead of someone else calling to tell me of something happening to chad. does anyone know if we will get a new car out of this deal? one can only hope.

well, so many stories…so little time. here is one for today. i’ve decided there are music people and non-music people. i am definitely a music person and chad really is not. not that chad does not ever listen to or appreciate music at all, he just doesn’t really seek it out or use it to alter his mood. for example, after i get out of the van, the next person who enters will hear whatever cd strikes my fancy that day blaring as a reminder of my last venture. after chad has driven the van, i always have to change it from the am sports channel when i get back in. that’s what i mean…music person…non music person. now that we have that settled; my children take after their mom and love…i repeat…LOVE music. i must admit, i am proud of their taste as well. currently, both colton and chase request u2’s beautiful day and elevation the minute we get in the car. and of course, i happily meet their request to “turn it up mommy”. aiden usually dances and claps to whatever is on but seems to already have an appreciation for the magic that is u2. colton knows every word of elevation which may or may not be a catalyst for some of you questioning why my kids are singing to u2 instead of veggie tales or cedermont kids…but, it is what it is. while elevation is ringing through my blue minivan…which certainly does not scream u2 from the outside like it does from the inside, the boys can be seen jamming out, hands in the air, head keeping rhythm, and singing every word. aiden watches and claps her hands over her head, not to be left out of the experience. most of you know that colton has been musical from the womb, and hears instruments in a song that others don’t even know exsist…such as a mandolin, etc. etc. so, the other day, while listening to none other than elevation, i explained the bridge in the song to colton. the next time we listened to the song…chase, not to let one get passed him…said, “let’s go over the bridge mommy!” i said “o.k. baby…here it comes!” colton’s response was, “Go Bono!” with rocker fist in the air. at dinner last night, chase…who has seemed to always have a heart for prayer and will melt you with some of his very honest and insightful words to God…prays, “God…thank you for beautiful day and elevation.” i smile now and ponder the words quietly to myself…beautiful day…and it is.

extra, extra, read all about it…some of you are asking how chase is after the long, drawn out, middle of the night ramblings of 2 or 3 nights ago. i can’t remember and don’t have the energy to go back and check. but, after being at the doctor’s office twice in 2 days, we now know that he has bronchiloitis…otherwise known as the dreaded RSV. those of you that are moms, and probably some of you that are not but are medically aware, know exactly what that is. it is a horrible respiratory virus that attacks and causes inflammation of the bronchiloes (the tiny tubes that connect the bronchials to the lungs). this virus is especially dangerous for tiny babies and young kids with asthma. after the night that i posted (an attempt to stay awake to monitor chase’s breathing), his cough and asthma got worse quickly. he was not able to go more than an hour or so without experiencing some respiratory distress (nostrils flaring, intercostal spaces between ribs sinking in with every breath, grunting with every breath). i was on the phone several times with the after-hours nurse line in an attempt to avoid the er. this was especially bad the night before last. at the doctor on monday, they said that he could go trick or treating if he was not coughing and responding to the breathing treatment…which he was halloween afternoon. so we let him wear his batman costume and go to a couple of houses and he was totally fine. however, when we got back inside, he started having trouble again. that night i was up all night with him. he was getting breathing treatments every 2 hours (the maximum amount he could get) and at 12:00am, it did not work anymore. i was getting ready to take him to the er, and then he got better for a while. then it got bad again, followed by a breathing treatment, followed by it not working and me getting ready to take him again. i finally realized that he could sleep and breath better if he sat in my lap, leaned back in the recliner in the living room. so we did this from 3:00am on. i could not sleep anyway. i did not want to take my eyes off of him. we went on like this until i could get him to the office the next morning. needless to say, i watched everything i had recorded on the dvr that night. luckily, they figured out what the virus was that was causing it and know that it is a very difficult virus to treat…that is why it was not responding to treatment. but, now he has turned the corner. he is able to go 4-6 hours between treatments now, occationally only 3, and is feeling much better. chad did all the breathing treaments last night, because let’s face it…i was 1 night of no sleep shy of completely dropping my basket. i am somewhat worried about aiden getting it too because our house is one, giant germ at this point. but, if i let myself go there, you will all be contacting me at the local loony-bin. cute thing about chase though…ever since he broke his arm, he says that anything that is wrong is “broken”. when his nose is runny, he comes to me and says, “nose broken mommy.” if he gets a scrape on his arm…”it’s broken mommy…need cast.” and this week, his chest is definately “broken and needs cast.”

it is exactly 1:00am monday morning. the time that comes up at the bottom of the blog is wrong for some reason. anyways, i am up because chase is having either asthma or a viral cough. the whole family just got over a bad cold/bacterial throat infection, so it being another virus would surprise me. however, i’m not a doctor and i don’t play one on tv either. when his asthma acts up, he coughs like this and he was outside a lot today. they tell me his asthma is very mild and that he should outgrow it, which i really hope is the case. well, i noticed him coughing before bed, so i gave him the recommended 2 puffs of the inhaler. he went to sleep and i started to…only to drift off and wake up to him coughing pretty bad. we still have a monitor for the boys as well as aiden. i came and got him and tried to assess the situation…are his nostrils flaring? are his ribs sinking in with every breath? is that little space between the collar bone sinking in? all signs of respiratory distress and an asthma attack. well, none of those things were happening, just the terrible, asthma sounding cough. so, what to do? think. think. think. i’m doing the squint in the light, trying to wake up myself thing and he is none too thrilled that i am waking him up either. i decide to try and give him regular cough syrup to see if that will help. have you ever had a battle in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a 4 year old over which medicine he will take? i have. about 2 hours ago. technically it was not the middle of the night then, but it is now, so give me a break. he refused to take the red cough medicine that neatly and easily dissolves on his tongue, which was his medicine of choice last week. tonight he wants to use the inhaler again. well, this is where the mommy detective in me comes into play. do i trust him and believe that he is feeling a tight, asthma chest, or make him take the run of the mill stuff that will not work anyway if it is stricktly asthma? i quickly decide to trust him, only it is too soon to give him another treatment. you have to wait 4 hours. so, now what? well, i have a liquid steroid that is to be used if the breathing treatment does not work, so i go for that. luckily, he complied. at this time, if you are wondering why he had a say in the first place about which medicine he took, now is not the time to question me. today i was wondering why i feel so tired all the time. that seems like a very silly inquirey (sp?) now. the steroid worked and he was very opinionated about going back to sleep in his and colton’s room. i wanted to put him in bed with us to monitor him. well, back to bed he went and after his lullaby of choice, he was asleep. in about 6.5 seconds…so was i. then, at 12:00am, i woke up to him coughing bad again. i looked at the clock, expecting to see 4:00am at least, but no. too soon to give a breathing treatment…too soon to give more medicine. now is when i call in the big guns. no, not chad…he is sleeping peacefully. i call the walgreens 24 pharmacy to talk with the pharmacist, who you would think i was on a first name basis with. he, so patiently, researches the meds and tells me what i already know…i can’t do another treatment for 2 hours. he says to give robitussin dm…a plain cough syrup until i can do the treatment. i don’t have robittusin dm. now is the time to wake up chad. he groggily rolls out of bed and puts his cute glasses on and shuffles out the door to the 24 hr kroger. he only asked one time if we really needed this. he gets back in about 15 minutes and i head upstairs to get chase. it is about 12:45 at this point. in the back of my mind i am thinking, chase is not going to take this. i know it tastes terrible. as soon as i get chase out of bed, still half asleep, he says, “mommy…cough medicine.” i say, “we’re gonna get you some cough medicine right now sweet baby.” he takes it without a word, scrunches up his nose and sputters a little, but swallowed it all. “good job, chase. i’m proud of you.” this time he wanted daddy…wanted to sleep in “daddy’s bed”. i wanted to rock him to keep him upright until the medicine took effect, but chase wanted daddy. for a split second my feelings were a little hurt…afterall, i was the one who had put this whole plan in motion. chad did go get the medicine though…i guess it’s only fair. now i am just waiting to make sure the medicine works before i drift off asleep again, and there is nothing on tv. i was watching this candy castle compitition on the food network before chad got back with the cough syrup, and i totally forgot about that until now…i’m wondering who won. none the less, at this point it is better to be awake already than to be woken up after 10 minutes of sleep. my brain gets really confused when that happens multiple times a night. it is 1:33 now, and i have not heard any more coughing, so i think i will check on colton and aiden, and then head to bed. funny thing about colton…his shirt had a big hole in it at the chest the other day. i asked why. he said, “it was itching me, so i cut it.” i said, “cut it with what?” he said, “scissors.” naturally. we talked a while about not cutting our clothes with scissors, etc. etc. etc. then we talked about the appropriate action to take if our skin is itching. about an hour later, i catch him trying to glue his shirt (still on his body) back together with gum. i think i need a nanny.