i just got back from a run with trout.  don’t get excited.  it was just down the street and back.  but…strangely, that was sufficient…for me, anyway.  i can’t believe that i used to be a runner.  there was a time when i would not go to bed unless i had run my 3 mile lap through the subdivision.  that was before i got married…but still.  i used to could do it.  now…i don’t think i could run a mile if someone was chasing me with a knife.

however…if you want to enter a contest against me in diaper changing or hair braiding…

bring it.

****

in the last post, i mentioned the holiday lunch at the school.  this year was my favoritest, by far.  chad and i both went to all 3.  and we had our friends there too.  friends make everything better.  i’ve decided.

speaking of friends…

here are 2 of aiden’s favorites.

just looking at this picture makes me tear up.  i know.  it wounds weird.  but it’s the innocence.  the joy.  the toothless grins.  the shared secrets.  it’s who i was before the world got to me.  i don’t want the world to get to them.  they don’t deserve it.

****

annslee caught a killer cold.  i guess it’s more like…it caught her.

and we all know what that means…

it caught me too.

even a sore throat couldn’t keep me from savoring this sight.  there is just something about two animals loving each other that is…well…happy.

evidently, they have come to some sort of agreement.  they decided that if they were going to be forced to live together…in this crazy house…they might as well be allies.

****

on friday, colton took a personal day.  if adults need and can take personal days…why can’t kids?  they are dealing with a lot too, after all.  the pressures put on our kids these days by state tests and trying to find their place in this world was enough to give me chronic stomach aches in 7th grade…so who am i to argue when my little man needs a break from it all?

it was a day i won’t ever forget with him.  just him and me.  like it was 10 years ago…when i would hold him in my arms all day long in order to protect him from harm.  i didn’t get to actually hold him this day…and i couldn’t make all of his troubles disappear…but i did get to keep him under my wing.  even if it was just for the day.

and later that evening, we had some old friends over for dinner.

a little beer based chili, good drinks, a camp fire, and marshmallows…i’ve found…keep everyone happy.

it got cold enough that aj could christen my red, velvet, christmas coat from when i was her age.  my honey made it.  which reminds me…i must learn to sow.

doesn’t she just look like she needs to be in a horse drawn sleigh?

****

the next morning, we went to granna and grandaddy’s for pancakes and eggs.  i’m convinced that my father could open a breakfast place and only serve his whole wheat pancakes and eggs.  it would be named the griddle…and me and my mom…and the girls would wear really cute aprons and help out in the kitchen and with the customers and the boys would sit around and talk and eat and laugh.  we would have some of our favorite memories in the griddle.  and we would know all of our customers by name.  and when people walked in…they would feel like they were home.

today, chase took a personal day and came along to the galleria with granna, grandaddy, annslee and i.

it did him good.

he took his sister on her very first train ride.

and…let her wear is hat.

now…that’s love.

i remember riding a similar train at the mall when i was little.  i would get so excited.  i had lost my faith in kids getting excited about stuff like that.  these two were just the kids to redeem my faith in the excitement and magic of the little things.

to them…

it made their day.

annslee wanted to walk in her brother’s footsteps.

even if it was just for tonight.

and then we gathered around the table and celebrated our advent activity.

tonight was “make a christmas card for a soldier.”

they are on their way, larissa.

thanks for sending them for us!!

well folks…

warm pajamas and a good hallmark christmas movie is a-waitin.

i’ll send the same message to you as i did to a brave, heroic soldier:

Glory to God

i totally caved.  call me “out of the loop” if you like…because i had no idea that all this elf magic was happening all over town.  i knew that sooooome of the kids at school had personal elves at home…but i had no idea that they were writing letter’s (like, as a whole class) to their elves…begging them to come from the north pole.  and then, (i’d guess from the conversation that i had with the kid’s classmates yesterday at the holiday lunch,) that well over half of the kids parents trudged on out to the store and hunted down these things…because what else were they supposed to do, afterall?  and then you have the whole issue that all of the kindergarten, first, second, and some third graders think that it’s a true story…so the older grades do it too.  i could be wrong, but from what i gather, these elves show up…and move around the house while the kids are away.  (they’re sneaky…those elves.)  and then…all of the kids talk about the crazy antics and mischief making by the elves every day at school.  some kids even bring their elf to school and they move around the classroom.  (i don’t know how the teachers make that happen.)  so…my poor, little first grade girl was under the assumption that her elf just didn’t care enough about her to actually show up.  i listened to all the kids chatter, excitedly about it through lunch and watched my little darlins stay silent.

i have real mixed emotions about all of this.

don’t get me wrong.  i’m one santa hat and bad pair of pointy shoes away from an elf myself, this time of year…but i can’t help but wonder how the kids…who’s elves never “show up” feel at this point.  do they ask their parents why?  do they go to sleep, hoping every night that this will be the night?  do they even tell their parents that this is what is happening at school?  i know my 3 didn’t.

during chase’s holiday feast…the cafeteria was a-buzzin with kids and parents and bad plates of turkey and dressing.  cue a tiny, little, third grade girl…complete with glasses constantly sliding down her nose…sitting all alone at the end of a busy table.  i whispered, “would you like to come sit with us?”  she shyly scooted into the chair across from chase and i and nibbled her sandwich.  her eyes stayed on her lunch as we listened to all the kids talk of their elves.  i looked at her and asked, “do you have an elf?”

with her eyes never leaving her lunch…she shook her head no.

there is where the problem lies.

this little girl’s face made me really question whether my family jumping on the elf band-sleigh was the right thing to do.

i weighed out the options heavily.  i landed on the truth that no matter how much i hate it…all of the christmas “stuff” is the same.  some kids never get a visit from santa.  some never open a present.  some never have a stocking…and some never hear the words “merry christmas.”  but that fact doesn’t mean that i will put a sign on my door that says, “santa not welcomed here.”  the stockings at my house are still hung by the chimney with care…and rest assured…st. nicholas soon will be here.

it does…however…remind me of how vitally important it is to build awareness in my children and in my church and in my community that we can not turn a blind eye to the above mentioned facts.  and to enlist them in helping out with this where they can.  even if our family provides a little bit of christmas for another family…it makes a difference.  and more important than even that…

as fun and wondrous as it all is…

santa, stockings, reindeer, and elves are not what really makes christmas magical.

see…there’s this other story.  a story that is filled with way more magic and splendor than an elf landing in our house and moving around while the kids are out.  a story about a baby…sent to rescue us.  a story about a birth…that brought everyone from the lowly shepherds to the majestic kings to their knees in worship and admiration.  that, my friends, is christmas magic.

the elves did show up last night.  but we also had a conversation with the kids about what is really important and made them understand that not all of the kids had them.  we thought about what we could do about that.  and we decided that the clarkson elves could go to school and be an elf for all the kids in their classes that didn’t have one.  a “shared” elf, if you will.  and that makes me very proud of my clarkson elves.

****

annslee actually played with…wait for it…toys the other day.  this girl would much rather be getting into stuff and meandering around the house then playing with toys.  but…low and behold…while i was dealing with cat piss laundry the other day…i heard a little ruckus from the hall.  and this is what i found.

it’s a sight that satisfies me greatly.

it’s always good to have an audience.

i guess she was showin’ trout how toy playin’ goes down.

what is not to love about a great hat?  you have probably noticed that i have a long standing love affair happening with hats.  i love wearing them, myself…and i certainly love putting the kids in them.  colt won’t really cooperate and wear anything but a baseball cap…but the rest of them do pretty good at humoring me with hat fashion.

so.  here we go.  i have had several of you e-mail or ask me about our family activity advent calendar.  i posted a picture of the advent lodge that we use (from target) several posts ago.  and what i did was cut red and green paper into strips and then enlist chad and colton to help me write the activities on them.  you fold them up and put one behind each door.  i fit all of the activities on the calendar (picture below) where they would fit best with our schedule and then made sure the right activity was behind the right door.

this is especially for you girls that have asked what our activities are:

day 1:  go get tree

day 2:  decorate tree (this didn’t exactly happen as planned…but you get the point)

day 3:  make cookies and watch polar express

day 4:  make paper snowflakes (i put this on this night b/c chad and i had a church meeting)

day 5:  play candyland

day 6:  split an over-sized candy cane

day 7:  read a chapter from the greatest christmas pageant ever

day 8:  make a christmas card to send to the person of your choice

day 9:  have friends over for dinner (already planned…so i just fit it in)

day 10:  bake cookies for the neighbors

day 11:  go see santa

day 12:  make a christmas card and send it to a soldier

day 13:  watch ELF (will use candy from the movie for treat)

day 14:  play christmas charades

day 15:  go get ice cream (invite a friend)

day 16:  go look at christmas lights (pre-planned…so it had to go here)

day 17:  pick out toys from playroom to donate and take them to lighthouse)

day 18:  4 siblings draw names and then go shopping for that sibling’s present

day 19:  build a gingerbread house

day 20:  wrap gifts together

day 21:  make reindeer food

day 22:  watch the nativity story (amazing movie and i totally recommend it)

day 23:  bake Jesus’ birthday cake

day 24:  attend christmas eve service and have a birthday party for Jesus at our house*

day 25:  read the story of Jesus’ birth from Luke 2 before we open gifts

*i may substitute one of the earlier activities next week with making birthday party invitations to give to everyone who will be here christmas eve.  i didn’t think of that one until later.

i wrote all the activities on my calendar so that i would know what was coming and would be able to plan for it.

****

day 2:

our decorating the tree magic happened to coincide with aiden losing her very first tooth.  i had to fight the disappointment of not being with her when she lost it at school that day.  i pulled all of their first teeth…but she insisted on letting this thing dangle until it fell out while she was eating a cupcake.  i just don’t get that.  why not just pull it?

i set up a buffet of appetizers and cookies.  the kids loved being able to pop on over for a cheese cube in between ornament hanging.

annslee hung her first ornament.

aiden followed in her footsteps.

they wrapped themselves in the holly-berry garland.

and when the star topper wouldn’t stay straight…chase improvised.

i don’t know how these didn’t break where we ended up with all the tiny balls bouncing all over the foyer.  that just seems like something that would have happened.

i like to call this picture, “stop taking pictures.”

this was colt’s ornament placement…right smack dab in the front.  it took everything i had in me to not move those.

chad removed kermit and did some pruning to make the start work.

day 4:

we made snowflakes.  this activity is really fun when it was just me and aiden last year…but it didn’t go over super great with the boys.  they were kinda bored with it.  and i didn’t like the clean-up.  lotsa tiny paper snips and now my table cloth and place mats are caked with glitter glue.

annslee didn’t really appreciate this craft either.

note to self…giving the girl markers and scissors to keep her quiet is not a good idea and should never be done again.

day 5:

christmas candyland.

this was hysterical.  colton had me rolling the whole time.  since there were only 4 game pieces and we had 5 playing (aj was in bed…we learned our lesson during the snowflake debacle)…colt decided to be baby Jesus.

and for the second game…we all decided to be a nativity piece.  i’m not kidding when i say that colton and i were laughing so hard that we were crying.  colton kept talking for the wise men and calling the camel an over-sized donkey and saying that we knew which square he was on because of the brown pile.  you are just going to have to trust me when i tell you…that at the time…it was really funny.

and of course…true to form…chase had to march to the beat of his own drum and be luigi.

fine by me.

before the game started…annslee did this.

and ended up in time out, here.

which is why she didn’t get invited to candyland.

****

my brother in law made my day and sent me these deer antlers.  they are beauties.

in other news from the weekend…annslee made her debut on the church stage.  the little ones sang in church. an added bonus was that she wore a jumper that mom made for me when i was little.  i’m pretty sure she was hearing this song for the first time.  she seemed to not really know what was going on.

so she started whispering to the teacher next to her.  only she can’t talk…but i was imagining it went something like this…

“pssssst.  i don’t really want to be up here.  and i don’t even know this song.  could you please, kindly help me off this stage?”

and when that didn’t work…she just clasped her hands and held her head high.

(that’s my girl.)

the highlight of the performance is when she was on her way off the stage and spotted her granna and grandaddy in the audience waving at her.

after church, we celebrated one of chase’s friends with bowling.

remember when we thought that bowling shoes should be casually stolen and become a part of our wardrobes?  i’m not really feelin it anymore.

the little boy and his sister were born on exactly the same day.  pretty cool.

until someone starts talking about joint birthday parties.

just one more thing…

enjoy your day, friends.

saturday morning, i set my alarm for 6:30 am…which was earlier than it’s been set in a long time.  i had the honor and privelage to, not only walk in the buddy walk…but photograph it for a team of 70 people who where all their to support a little girl named, scarlett.

scarlett changed my heart when she was only 24 hours old.  chad and i entered a quiet, dimly lit hospital room that housed a sleeping baby girl and her mother and father.

that is when, with a swaddled…sleeping baby in my arms, God began whispering and slowly opening my heart to the idea of being a mother to a baby girl with down syndrome.

the medical profession and the majority of the world may view a child being born with down syndrome as unfortunate and  feel sorry for their families for having to be dealt that hand…but i’m here to tell you that this is not the way that Jesus, their maker, feels about these children.  my heart sang…this is His child, who is wonderfully made!*  this is a day to celebrate the blessing of this life!  He has placed her in this world and in this family and He has plans and a purpose for her…plans to give her a future and a hope.**

i can’t wait to tell this little girl, someday, that she is who God chose to bring me to the realization that we were to adopt a baby girl with down syndrome.

but until then…i will be content to take pictures of her, and the people who love and support her.

this day was emotional for me for several reasons.  it was amazing to see over 7,000 people come together to show support and build community.  it was incredible to see these children celebrated like they deserve to be celebrated every day.  it was heart warming to see the love among friends and family.  but most of all…i thought about a baby girl in an orphanage in ukraine…who may be ours.  i imagined her laying in her crib…waiting.  waiting to be loved.  waiting to be appreciated.  waiting to have a family. 

waiting to be celebrated.

i walked for her.

*  Psalms 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

**  Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

yesterday, chad broke down and told me to just go ahead and take the cat to get it’s immunizations.

the poor thing had tape worms and when i went to tell the owners…they said that they didn’t care and that they didn’t want him.  he lives in our yard and sleeps in the garage.  he has basically decided that we are his.

so…

i did what any animal lover would do and got him taken care of at the animal alliance.  those people are a non profit organization and fixed him right up.

 today, i gave him a good bath and that’s when he ended up right back where he belongs.

****

tonight, we started something that i pray lasts.  last night, we ended the evening with a family meeting.  we sat in, what we call the lodge room, surrounded by the warmth and sights of the season…a season that is meant to celebrate our Savior’s birth and life, but also a season that brings love, joy, generosity, hope, and closeness to family and friends.  it has come to my attention that when i make happy announcements, like…”we are going to get the tree tonight!!!!”…it is all too often met with a humdrum attitude of boredom.  i notice this more in chad and the boys than i do the girls…and i had to ask myself, “why?  what is happening here?” 

when i was little, i waited all year for that announcement.  i could not wait until mom, dad, kevin and i loaded into the car and headed out to builder’s square to pick out the perfect christmas tree.  in the car, we would discuss the details.  do we want flocked or green?  do we want fluffy or thin?  and i can assure you…that every year…i argued for the tallest, fluffiest, flocked-ess tree there was.  shouldn’t the kids be the same way?

maybe i shouldn’t expect my children to get excited about all the same things that we did back then.  but still…i just know something isn’t right.

i thought about it a lot over the last couple of days and came to a decision.  it was time for a meeting.

i told my family that i was sad.  i was sad because i saw where we were headed.  the reason no one seemed to be satisfied with things like christmas tree selection or christmas light magic anymore is because they are bored with anything that doesn’t involve a screen.  if it isn’t tv, video games, the computer, the phone, or the ipad…it’s boring.  and boredom is not where this problem was going to end.  i saw these relationship stealers for what they really were.  they were slowly going to intrude in such a way that we no longer want to (or even know how to) sit in the family room, around the christmas tree, and talk to each other.  we would not remember how to listen anymore.  we would not know how to communicate with one another anymore.  and we would be…bored with each other.  these screens were also very sneaky…and very good at making you frustrated and impatient when you don’t have them.  it began reminding me of other addictions, and understanding that just because something wasn’t an “obvious” addiction didn’t mean that it was any less dangerous.  you see…the thing about sneaky addictions is that they slowly make you become angry, impatient, and irritated when you don’t have them.  you become angry at the things that are getting in the way of their fulfillment.  and in this case…we were getting angry and impatient with each other (or tree decorating)  for taking us away from our addiction.

after i finished my quiet, heart felt plea…chad spoke up.

he said, “from now on…all screens are to be turned off from 5:00 until 8:00.”  for the kids…that is bedtime.

no tv.  no video games.  no phones.  no ipad.  no computer.

our first night was tonight.

at 5:00, we turned everything off.

i saw a difference immediately.  i plead with you to understand the tangible and automatic difference in the countenance of my family when there was no addiction holding us in it’s grip.

at dinner, we talked and we laughed and we opened the advent door for the 3rd day of december.

chase read the red slip of paper…

we baked the cookies, popped the popcorn and celebrated annslee’s first viewing of one of our favorite christmas movies.

no one complained…

no one was looking at their ds…

no one wanted to be in another room…doing something else…

and no one was on their phone or computer or ipad.

it was a great night of family.

none of us wanted to be anywhere but where we were…or with anyone other than each other.

****

so, here’s the deal.  my family is calling this the “screen-free challenge.”

we are invited you and your family to participate with us.

we would love to know who else is on board with us…so post a comment and we will cheer you on!

i will continue to post about our advent adventures, as well.

i’ve sorta stacked the advent house so that our nightly activities fall where i want them to.  like, tomorrow night is making a homemade christmas card for the person of your choice.  we will get out the paper, crayons, markers, and glitter…surround the kitchen table…and listen to christmas music as we spread a little love.  the skies the limit…so break out the address book and stamps!

shhhhhhhhhhh…

don’t tell.

now…hop on board.

my girl’s got manners.  she has this way about her…that just screams polyanna or anne of green gables.  sometimes she talks like she stepped right out of yesteryear.  and i say yesteryear…because i really have no idea what time period anne of green gables was set in.  but…nevertheless…her old school politeness makes my heart smile.

just now, i asked the girls if they were ready for lunch. (more on why aiden is home from school today, later.)  annslee nodded yes.  so, i started getting out the left overs from last night and informed them that i was going to heat up some mashed potatoes.

aiden quietly said, “i’m not felling that hungry right now.  i feel more thirsty than hungry.”

i said, “would you like for me to get you a drink?  maybe some milk?”

she sweetly and modestly replied, “i would love some milk.  thank you.”

this is not the way chad and i talk.  we are not even close to “proper.”  and i can assure you that the boys and annslee have not taught her this.  so i must assume…

she is a self taught lady.

****

after an ER bill, a dog surgery bill, and an orthopedic bill…we had to resort to home cooked meals, crayon colored cards, and song and dance numbers set to the music of the 1st grade choir program for chad’s birthday celebration.

annslee and i escaped to the store yesterday morning to get the ingredients for his “chipped beef and mashed potatoes” birthday dinner and “made from scratch” strawberry shortcake.  that trip went surprisingly well…so i decided to stop on over at tj maxx to try and locate the souffle pan that target didn’t have.  i thought, “i don’t need the stroller…i’m just running in real fast…i’ll carry her…she will be fine.”

mistake.

as soon as that child saw the purse section…she started flailing around, pointing, and acting like a raging lunatic until i let her go take a gander.  now…i love a good purse as well as the next person, but we just didn’t have time.

luckily she spotted a juicy couture purse that was about as big as she was right off the bat.  so, i did what any mother who wants to avoid a knock-down-drag-out-tantrum in the middle of the store would do.  i let her carry it around on her shoulder while we shopped.

i had hung my keys in the pocket of my jeans…so that i would have easy access to them when we left.  (let’s face it…they could easily be snatched up by the little elves that live in my huge purse that sneakily move things around as i’m digging for them.)

so…now we are good.

annslee has her purse.

i have a non-screaming child.

and everybody can carry on.

they didn’t have a souffle pan…so i ended up leaving that place with nothing.

as we got to the car…i reached down to get my keys from my pocket and they were gone.  i dug through my purse…cursing the purse elves.  and then i asked annlsee where my keys were.  (rhetorically, of course.)  that’s when i remembered her trying like nobody’s business to show me the paper stuffing in the purse while we were in the junior’s jean section.  (it’s absolutely none of your business why we were there when all i needed was a souffle pan…and how rude of you to question me, anyways.)  i just kept nodding and saying, “yeah…i see the paper in there.”

i said, “annslee.  did you take mommy’s keys?”

she nodded, “yes.”

“are they in the store?”

she nods again.

“do you know where you put them?”

yes.

“show mommy.”

we walk back in the store and that girl waddles straight to her friend, the purse, and digs out all of the paper stuffing.  she smiles and points and proudly says, “eeeeeeeeeys.”

sure enough…there those suckers were…in the bottom of the juicy.  to her defense…she had been trying to tell me all along.

and chad wonders why, when he is home, i want to leave her at home with him if i need to run a quick errand.  there ain’t nothin quick when she’s involved.

****

i put that experience behind me and got to work on the meal as soon as we got home.

by the time the potatoes were on the stove…the keys were a distant memory.

i wanted chad to come in to a peaceful home, filled with the smell of a home cooked meal, welcomed by children who’s homework was done, and flickering candles.  i wanted him to set his briefcase down at the door, notice the clean house, and let the hugs from the kids melt his day away.  i wanted the celebration to start.

sadly…annslee broke a glass all over the kitchen floor seconds before he walked in.

just pay no attention to that.

only this.

and this.

and your pre-dinner entertainment.

they can sing…

aaaaaannnnnd dance.

after dinner, i put chad on bath duty so that i could clean up the kitchen.

mistake.

aiden comes out, wrapped in a towel ,with a dripping cast.

chad said, “she didn’t get it that wet…and i shot the hair drier in there and dried it out.”

ummmmmm…

then why is it dripping?

after about a half hour of this…

we realized that it wasn’t gonna dry.

so…first thing this morning, we called up the doctor and they rushed us in while informing me that i should have taken her to the emergency room to have them remove the cast last night because it is essentially killing her skin and that they needed to get it off of her right now.

oh.

of course.

mother of the year award goes to “this guy.” (pointing to self)

we were in such a rush that i had to take sister friend with us.

mistake.

so…that’s why she is home today.

****

this has pretty much been  aj…

all day.

her shirt is just so appropriate.

“i feel a hissy fit coming on.”

and poor trout.

he resorts to hiding under one of the trees to escape.

i know.  cause i found him eating it.

****

ok.  i will leave you now.  i have some coloring to do with my girl.

trout is slowly becoming himself again.  his spirits are lifted…no thanks to this cone that he has to wear.

the kids and i call him melman…after the ocd/hypocondriac/cone wearing giraffe from the madagascar movies.  chad calls him “cone-man the barbarian.”

regardless of what we call him…he can’t see anything.  he runs into everything from the walls…to the couch…to the cabinets.  last night, he knocked annslee down with the cone.

it was an accident, of course.

my girl got her permanent cast yesterday.  after much debate…she landed on blue.  i think it is an excellent choice.

i was really pushing for red…since red would look best with her christmas dress, but she was pretty sure about this blue color.  i already have plans for a white paint pen and some snow flake designs…but for now, we are letting it shine in all it’s pretty, blue spendor.

and don’t even get me started on the ungly, sharpie marker, 1st grade signiture possibilities.  that’s just gonna totally throw off my snow flake design.

last night…we finally had a pleasant, celebrate-the-holiday sort of evening.

it was tree-getting day.

get ready for some christmas magic, kids.  and don’t even think about trying to bring me down with any “humbug” attitude.

the good Lord must have been smiling down on us…because this outing could not have gone any better if santa, himself had shown up.

kermit came along…which was fine by me.  he’s way better company than mario, luigi and the ds.

aiden got to sport her dress coat.  the first year she got this coat…i never let her wear it because i was completely against it getting dirty.  that resulted in her wearing it only once…to some dressy event that i can’t even remember.  now…i let her wear it whenever she wants.  and do you know what?  that thing never seems to really get dirty.  (lesson to self.)

true to form…chase accidently knocked the tree we were testing over when he tried to climb it.

chad was abviously out of control during that moment.

the good news is that it didn’t fall on anyone.

and also true to form…aiden found her charlie brown rescue tree.  this one was really cute and only $16…so naturally, i tried to talk chad into getting it for her room.

he put the cabosh on that idea with the whole “fire hazard” reasoning.

why must he always be thinking clearly?

annslee stopped to smell the poisonous flowers.

what is this backwards peace sign, anyway?  i don’t really get it.  does it still mean “peace” to whoever you are signing it to…or does it mean “peace to the person it’s pointing toward?”  (in this case, colt is saying “peace to himself.”)  or is it the new way that kids give their parents the bird without us realizing what’s happening?

at this point, i can’t be sure.

i just know all the kids are doing it these days.

we had to pull a fast one to get annslee out of there without this guy.

she toted him all over the store.  i still don’t know how we avoided a tantrum.  it must have been that whole, “God smiling down on us” thing.

this year colt became a real helper with roping the tree to the top of the truck.

that’s a right of passage for a boy.

and that speck of light in the sky…

well…

that would be my favorite moon…in my favorite waxing or waning cresent form.

i was a huge help by sitting in the car, where it was warm, with the other 3 kids while they got the tree situated.

this morning actually provided a nice sight.  trout got to take a little break from the cone to enjoy a dog bone.  this was a sight for sore eyes.

look at how much they had to shave of his stomach.  his insiscion is all the way from his chest to his hips.

poor guy.

we finally got the furniture re-arranged and the tree perfectly placed.

“little full.

lotta sap.”

for our anniversary, we splurged on this advent lodge.  in the next few days, i’m printing out a bunch of christmas, family activities…like making paper snow flakes, reading a christmas story together, carol at the neighbor’s house (yeah…no one is gonna really be on board with that one), and going to look at lights.  i will put one behind each door and they will open 1 each day until christmas.

step back, scrooge.

the fog is beginning to lift…

and i’m back in celebratory business.

last night, as chad was tucking the kids in…he was giving them Bible character quizzes.  he asked, “who used a sling shot in the Bible?”

chase triumphantly replied…

“THE ANGRY BIRDS!!!!”

ummmmm….

no.

to say that we’ve had a rough week is an understatement.  well…if we are measuring things based on whether or not we have a roof over our heads and food to eat…then we are doing swimmingly.  however, if we are judging based on small, little, stressful, very expensive joy stealers…then i’m your girl.

chad always says that trials come in threes.

i’ve always dismissed his pessimism and replaced it with my “always-willing-to-look-at-the-brightside/celebrate-the-small-moments-of-life-in-grandiose-ways-even-if-it-is-raining-on-us-as-we-tie-the-christmas-tree-to-the-top-of-the-roof-of-the-car” attitude.  after all…twinkly lights are in our near future.  and twinkly lights can fix anything.

accept when it’s me against the house…as it usually is, these days.

my children take after their father and somehow didn’t get my flare for the dramatic and magic.

colt usually gets frustrated right out of the gate.  and it’s usually for a good reason…like aj making a scene and knocking a whole line of christmas trees over like dominoes…while everyone in the vicinity looks at us with that “wow…those parents have totally lost control of their lives” glare.  chase is usually running into walls and isle displays because he just could not abandon mario and luigi in their time of need on the ds screen to do something as trivial as pick out a tree.  aiden is usually trying hard to help…but gets distracted with the poor, little, charlie brown tree that is covered in mud and is already too far gone to nurse back to help and starts crying when we explain why we can’t take it home.  and then there’s annslee.  while she is busy knocking down things…she is screaming “me” and throwing herself on the ground out of frustration that we don’t understand what it is, exactly, that she is wanting.

you will have to excuse me.

my  flare for positivity is slowly being replaced with a feeling of…

well…

whatever the feeling is called when you want to go to bed…pull the covers up over your head…and not wake up until the new year offers the promise and hope of a new beginning.

what happened to the joy…the hope…the magic of it all?

we went to celebrate thanksgiving at mom and dad’s.  we got there super late due to a sibling squabble and the big girl’s arm hurting her something fierce.

but when i saw these two lovely ladies…it sort of felt like thanksgiving.

my girl just wasn’t up to par.

and quite frankly…after spending the previous evening in the ER and (not) sleeping with her arm resting on top of my body all night and therefore trying not to move at all…neither was i.

we had to jet before i even got to look through a black friday ad with mom and honey because i left her pain medicine at home and she was in tears by dessert.

now…i’m thankful and all…

but i’m not gonna lie.

i wasn’t terribly sad to see this day end.

even though i wasn’t shopping tomorrow, as planned…

friday was going to be a new day.  a fresh start.

not so…my friends.

trout ended up having to have emergency surgery during the middle of the night because he had eaten a ton of dirt and it ended up forming a hard blockage that got stuck in his intestines and caused them to start twisting like a balloon animal.  if we would have waited any longer to take him in…he would have died.

our choice was…so the surgery…or put him down.  the vet was able to open him up, remove the blockage, and put his intestines back together.  he should be fine.  however, that drained our adoption fund and the kids can forget about college…but…

whatever.

****

we will just make the best of things and head on down to the mall of the mainland “cheap seats” movie theater to take annslee to her very first movie…the muppets.

this will be a wonderful family experience…filled with love and the wonder that only movie theater popcorn can bring.

note to self…once the twizzlers are gone…annslee is, most definitely, NOT ready for the movie theater.

at one point, she tried to scale the seat in front of us while screaming as i tried to pry her grip from the seat.  apparently…she thought the kid in front of us had her twizzlers.

****

this morning…i woke up alone, and on the couch.  aiden has completely taken over our bed.  (her concern for falling out of her twin bed and onto her arm seems fair enough…and my resolve for anything other than letting her sleep in our bed is tired.)  chad had to head to church early, for work and i am waiting on a call from the vet so we can go pick up trout.

that’s when i groggily looked at my phone and saw the date.

november 27th.

our 12th wedding anniversary.

do i dare hope for a day of loving celebration?

i’m a little cynical, at this point.

****

so…currently, the kids and i are watching a christmas movie on the hallmark channel.  the mom in the movie blurted out something about her son not believing in santa claus anymore and i started yelling and screaming, “OWWWW…OOOOOHHHHH…OWWWWWWWW…I JUST GOT A PAIN…OWWWWW!!!”

while grabbing my chest.  (in hind-sight…i probably could have come up with something better.)

that’s when aiden thought i was having a heart attack.

i was just trying to block out the “anta-say ot-nay eing-bay eal-ray” talk.

colton caught it and calmly said, “i think she’s just having a seizure” trying to make them feel better about the possible heart attack.

i looked at him…like…”REALLY????”

and said…

“i’m not having a seizure.”

****

happy thanksgiving.

merry christmas.

happy  anniversary.

and happy whatever else is going on. 

yesterday, we packed up and headed to the woodlands for the day. we were meeting ben and dea (my best from high school), their kids…and ian (another friend from high school) at fuddruckers for lunch.

i just love it when my old friend’s kids and my kids play together.  there is just something very comforting about that sight.

dea’s daughter, audrey is only 5 weeks older than aiden…but look how much taller she is.  she is super model material.

annslee and croix look like they could be fraternal twins, i think.  which is strange…seeing that dea and i look nothing alike and chad and ben look nothing alike.  but…none-the-less…these two look oddly similar.

croix does have big blue eyes and annslee does have big brown eyes…

but besides that fact…

these two girls were each other’s first friend.

i love that.

take a good look at this play fort.  the monkey bars that are to the right, and just out of frame…well…i’m in a fight with those mean things.

evidently, aiden got up her nerve to try to cross those monkey bars herself and darn it…if they didn’t get the best of her.  right in front of are eyes…her hand slipped and she fell to the ground.  i heard her scream and i saw her awkwardly grab her arm and try to scramble to her feet.  only she couldn’t get up.  it was in that split second…as i saw her daddy run to her…as i darted out the back door to meet them…as i heard her cries, that my “mommy voice” whispered, “it’s broken.”

we layed her down on the couch and began to work as the team that we are.  as my good friends from high school grabbed ice packs and offered promises of ice cream, chad checked where the closest ER clinics (with radiologists present) were located and i held my girl.

ben and dea kept the other kids, ian opened the car door for me to load her in her seat, and chad gathered all of our stuff.

i told colton to help watch his brother and sister and he nodded as i kissed his forehead i and knew that he was the best man for the job.

at the hospital…they knew it was broken as soon as we walked in the door.  i know this…because i overheard the triage nurse tell the doctor before he walked in the room.

my girl was a trooper.  i don’t think i would have handled things near as well as she did.

she cried, yes…but she never complained.

today, i woke up with my girl snuggled next to me in my bed and i was profoundly thankful for what we have.

when she needed it…we had an amazing hospital emergency room to take her to; we had a nice doctor from texas childrens hospital, who knew exactly what he was doing; we had instant care from old friends to watch our other three children; we had a car to drive us home; we had a comfortable, warm house to come home to; we have pharmacies on every corner to fill prescriptions so that she could sleep; and we have countless options of orthopedics to make her cast.  she even has color choices.  a sure sign that we have excess.

yes…my girl’s arm will be fine.

but i can’t help but think about all the children out there today…(who if this happened to them…where they live…and with their circumstances)…wouldn’t be.

happy thanksgiving, friends.

it’s monday morning…and the thanksgiving holiday has officially begun.  or began.  is it begun or began?  i don’t even know.

that means all of the lovies are home with me…lounging on the couch…watching disney channel…eating waffles…sipping hot chocolate…complaining about having to let the dog out…and talking about being bored.  and it’s only 10 am.

i’m in a fight with the video games.

i am toying with the idea of getting rid of all of them.

they are kid stealers.

the boys actually try to quietly sneak off…slinking into the rooms upstairs that house the wii and playstation to be left alone to their choice of meaningless entertainment.  in there, they don’t have to answer my questions…perform helpful tasks for me (like taking the dog out)…or possibly color with their sisters.  i guess i can understand it.  after typing it out…i can see where they would be a little less-than-thrilled with the daily activities around here.  that leads me to a question and possible project.  how can i make our home fun and entertaining for the almost 11 year old boy down to the 2 year old girl without becoming a superhero princess who hosts tea/superbowl parties?

presently…i don’t have an answer…but i think it may involve snacks.  and lots of them.

****

thursday night…colt was in the fifth grade play.  he wasn’t totally in to it.  but he did participate.  he just didn’t look too thrilled to be doing so.

another sign and symptom of him getting older.

*sigh*

friday, i got to tag along with chase on the third grade field trip.  we went to moody gardens in galveston.  here we got to go to the rainforest…which was right up chase’s ally.

he wasn’t as excited about the butterflies as i was…

but who wouldn’t be thrilled about these white-faced monkeys playing at their feet?

there is just something about hanging vines that screams “CHASE!!”

on sunday, we actually got to go to a church plant in town that is a part of the houston church planting network.  it is called neartown church and they meet in the ymca on pease street.  chad has been training the planter and it was refreshing to get to feel a part of a church plant again.  i have come to realize that i have a heart for church planting…just like my husband.  the worship is usually done with donated, duct taped together equipment and musicians that may hit a flat note every now and then…but the chords and words are played and sung with such honesty and love for Jesus that you get wrapped in His love and completely taken away with awe and appreciation and love for Him in response to His love for us.  Communion is set out and you can’t wait to get to it because you want nothing more than to show Him that you remember what He did for you by allowing His body to be broken and His blood spilled for you on the cross.  And the message is simple.  Not just the spoken message from the pastor, but the almost tangible love and community among the 100 or so members who have come together to love God and learn about Him.  i felt welcomed and wanted and so did my children.  chad and i smiled at each other during the service and the boys listened as we occasionally rubbed their backs.  and at the end of the service, chase leaned over and talked to chad about being ready to trust Jesus with his life.  and that’s what you call a Spirit filled time together.

a church plant is where chad and i met, fell in love, and also where our first two children experienced a church family for the first time.  it feels like home to me.

if you are not a part of a church…i encourage you to seek out a church plant in your area.  even if you aren’t a church-type of person…chances are…you won’t be disappointed.  these are there for people just like you and me.

****

after that, the girls and i hit a birthday party which resulted in two tuckered-out babes.

a sleeping baby in a bonnet????  what is sweeter than that, i ask?

unless it’s a sleeping baby in a bonnet with long eyelashes dusting her cheeks.

and after everyone was in bed, i took care of myself.

i’m slowly savoring mockingjay…the 3rd and last book in the hunger games series.  don’t even get me started on the way that this series relates to our broken world today and where we may be headed.  it really is brilliant.  especially the first book.  my jaw was hanging open half the time and my mind reeled at how the “this would never happen thoughts” slowly broke into the “we are not far from this reality.”

****

just look at how this cat taunts trout.  he’s peacefully sleeping and clickety cat sits just out of his reach waiting to pounce.

today, the view from my desk makes me especially happy.

my grandpa’s hand-written song lyrics and dress hat, an old world war II compass…pointing towards home, our family captured last december, an angel in prayer over our family and one in celebration all become the familiar sights that point my heart in the right direction every day.

on a completely different note…i have been hired by a friend to come and photograph the buddy walk event in houston.  this is to raise funds and awareness for down syndrome.  i was planning to walk for her daughter, scarlett…but now i will take pictures.  i was secretly walking for an unknown little girl in an orphanage in ukraine who could, quite possibly, be our daughter as well.  but i’ll take pictures for her instead.  and we can just keep that little nugget of information tucked snug away in my heart for the time being.

please do enjoy your monday, friends.

and welcome kathy k.  what a sweet, sweet message i received from you the other day.

(i didn’t intend for that to rhyme.  i just got lucky.)