sigh. that’s really all i got.

my little family is riding this virus out.  slowly but surely.

 

as one of us become vertical a little more, another goes down.

 

this morning it was annslee.

 

she woke up at 5 am with 103.7.

 

 

when you have been stuck in the house for as long as i have…you are forced to tend to things that you normally feel great about ignoring because they can be easily replaced by an impromptu trip to target.  things like organizing the junk drawer.

 

annslee sticks close to me all the time.  but today…as i puttered around the kitchen, i noticed her a little closer than usual.  she would stand right against my leg and lean her head to rest right above my knee.  i would move to another location and she would stay close by…resuming her spot as soon as i stood still.  she did this for a good 5-10 minutes as i organized the heck out of the drawer.  i would look down at her and ask her, “are you helping me?” or “do you want some water?” or “do we need to take your temperature again?”  she would usually just look at me with those sad, sick eyes and then put her head back in position.  i finally decided that the drawer could wait.  i left it wide open…stuff piled all over the counters…and bent down and picked her up.

 

and when i did…i hope i never forget the feeling of her tiny body melting into mine.  as if to say, “thank you.  thank you for picking me up.  i need you to hold me tight and hum to me and dance slowly to the slow christmas melody playing in the background.  i need you so that i can go to sleep.  thank you for stopping.  i would have waited longer…but thank you for not making me.”

 

and with that…she was asleep.

 

her slow, congested breath sing songed in rhythm with the music and the slow rock of the chair.

 

i vowed to never make her wait longer than need be again.

 

i layed her in my bed and went back to my drawer.

 

let me just say…there is absolutely no need for us to buy a tube of chapstick for at least 3 years.  the chapstick had apparently called a convention in the junk drawer.

 

i wish i had taken a before picture.  but…this is the after.  not the greatest…but it will do.

 

this…

 

and all of this came out of that tiny drawer.  i can’t be positive…but i think stuff was breeding in there.

 

usually i christmatize in one, big swoop.  but this year…it’s been a gradual process…crescendoing this weekend with the stockings and twinkly lit garland…then the outdoor lights…and then the tree as the grand finale.  usually we get it right after thanksgiving…because we get a live one.  but this year…i may try to talk chad into doing it thanksgiving week.  oh…he’ll be thrilled.  make no mistake.  that man is one santa hat and reindeer cup full of eggnog short of clark griswold.   he loves the sap especially.  saps great.

 

“little full….

 

lotta sap.”

 

he can’t stand that i’m already playing christmas music.  i ask you…who doesn’t love christmas music??  the more the better.  that’s my philosophy.

 

when one doesn’t get out much…one is forced to do things like “bird watch” just to get out of the house.

 

this is the second day we have seen this thing on our street.

 

when i get too close…he flies down a few driveways.

 

colton said, “be the crane.”

 

and then…the same day…i spotted this thing in our backyard.

 

apparently…we have some sort of komodo dragon living in our back yard producing babies…

 

because this ain’t no normal lizard.

 

you gotta catch those moments when brothers are actually helping each other.

 

tonight, aiden set up…

 

aiden’s art shop.  again.

 

i have to be very careful with my knee jerk response to these sorts of things.  this is right up there with “forts” out of blankets.  those things are great fun for the kid but end up making a lot more work for me.  so…when she announced, “everyone’s invited!!!” i took a deep breath and tried not to have the first words out of my mouth be, “now aiden…you know you’re going to have to clean all of this up, don’t you?”

 

tonight…i did better than usual and even asked for a ticket to get in.

 

we created art for a good 45 minutes in aiden’s art shop.  i breathed in a satisfied breath and thought to myself…

 

“you did great.  not one mention of cleaning up this mess.  you colored with the best of em.  you only thought about the dishes waiting for you once.  ok…maybe twice.  you might as well go ahead and pin a sparkly star in your mama crown.”

 

after we were done…i explained that we couldn’t leave it out because trout could eat the crayons.  then i went to bathe annslee and take a bath myself.  this is what i came out to on my pillow.

 

 

20 sentences of

 

“i will not do art…i will not do art…i will not do art…

 

I WILL NOT DO ART…

 

all because of YOU.”

 

all because i made the girl clean up her shop.  i mean…it was in the middle of the room.  i don’t feel like i was being unreasonable here. 

 

and at that…

 

i heard the sound of my sparkly star pop right out of my mama crown and hit the floor.

 

 

on a happier note…from a healthier time…

 

step aside barbie.

 

letting her dress herself really takes every ounce of patience and restraint that i can muster up.

 

****

 

why i love christmas music:

 

lyric example #1:

 

“faithful friends who are dear to us…gather near to us…once more.”

 

tis the season.