This weekend has been a catalyst for growth. That’s the best way I know to sum it up. It’s been hard…but without tears. Which…let’s be honest…is nothing short of a miracle. And as I begin to put these moments to paper…the emotions are flowing faster than the words.
Let’s start with Friday.
Chad and I took Colt to the public intermediate school and registered him as a 7th grader. I thought I would have a hard time with this. But I am so excited for him. I’m excited because I know he’s ready.
I’m feeling great things for this kid here. It will be hard. I know that. I will have to step back…and let him find his own way. I won’t be able to be there…to help shoulder some of the pressure…or hurl a good come back at someone who says something that stings him. But…I will be here. I will be here when he gets home to talk about it. I will be here to support him…and celebrate him…and rally for him. I will be here to laugh with him…cry with him…and ultimately hear him. I have your back, kid. I always have your back.
As much as I’m hangin’ on to every last second of Summer…we did get our school shopping on.
These are the shoes she chose. Do you know how hard it was for me to purchase these? Do you know that these are not going to go with ANYTHING??? I’m all about some whimsical fashion…but come on??? It was all I could do to go with it. (Not to mention that my 8 year old daughter is throwin’ gang symbols.)
But then…THEN…somehow…my girl rocked it! And I felt really ashamed for not trusting her spirited, spunky, gutsy style.
Lesson learned.
I know nothing about 3rd grade fashion.
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I played two Soccer games this weekend. And they were good ones. They were the kind that make me believe that I belong on the field. They were ones that make me hold fast to my belief that Soccer is the best sport in the world.
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I’m fighting it, alright. I’m goin’ down swingin’. We are gonna hang on to every last beach sunset…lazy day…10 am wake up call we can. Because…it’s still Summer, people. It’s not time yet.
And this creates all kinds of inspiration…
like filling gallon sized mason jars with my bottle caps that I’ve been saving. You don’t even want to think for an absent-minded second about throwing away a bottle cap in this house.
And what better way to display the sweet pea’s beach shell collection???
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Now…here’s where I have surprised my emotional self this weekend. Yesterday…the baby woke up saying that she wanted a “big” bed. After a short conversation with myself and her daddy…she had us talked into converting her toddler bed into a full size. Now…it must be noted that the rails for that sucker have been tucked safely in the attic for a much later time. Like when the last baby is done using the crib. It’s always gone back and forth between the toddler bed and baby bed…never getting to this point. And I’m gonna be real honest…the only reason I let this go down…was because I rationalized with my heart that it was the same screws, bolts, parts that we use for the baby bed…It’s just put together in a different way. So…when I told Chad that we needed to keep everything within easy reach for converting it back to a baby bed…he just raised a quizzical eyebrow and laughed. It was a knowing laugh, I think.
So…my big girl has her big bed. I had bought this duvet cover a couple of years ago…for the future. I thought it matched her room well. We had money for her for Christmas from family. It was an impulse purchase…that I didn’t think much about. I’ve had it folded neatly at the top of the linen closet…and every time I would glance at it while going for a pillow case or towel, I would think…”for later.”
And somehow…later came.
In order for the bed to fit in her room, I had to re-arrange it. I kept the door shut…and poured my conflicting emotions into manual labor. I went to Target and bought her a mattress pad cover and sheet set and made myself feel better with the purchase of a gallon mason jar. While the sheets were washing and drying…I filled a mason with her own shell collection and a rock that she brought back from Colorado last Summer, and shifted things around on her shelves…until it was…
perfect. Perfect for her.
And when it was just right…I called her up.
This is a moment that I hope to remember forever. After playing on her new, “big” bed for a while, she sat…and while gazing out the window, she softly said…
“Thank you, Mama. I love it. Thank you.”
When I left for my game…I said, “Now you wait for me!! I want to tuck you in tonight and read stories! Don’t go to bed without me!!”
She said, “I won’t!!”
By the time I got home…she was already asleep.
So…tonight…I folded up the instructions, bagged all of the unused bolts and screws, and put them on the top shelf of her closet. They rest right next to the big-sister t-shirt that I bought for her this Spring when I found out that I was pregnant. Neither being too far out of reach.
And as I shut off my computer and turn the lamp off for another night’s sleep…I pray that my dream comes true. The one that has me pulling both the baby bed parts and the big sister t-shirt off the top, closet shelf…
…to be used once again.