Contentment and Hope Can Be Friends

October is already in full swing and I haven’t even located my orange storage container with the black lid yet.  I’ve kinda scaled back.  In an o.k. way.  I’m paying more attention and answering the question, “Is that what I want to spend my time and energy on?”  I am being more selective.  I am asking God every day:  “Who?  What?  When?  Where?  Why?  and How?”  And I am paying attention to His answers…like never before.  There is lots and lots on my mind these days.  There is lots of communication with God.  There is lots of trust and peace and anticipation.  There is lots of looking at my 4 kids…while having, “Oh-my-Gosh-I-am-an-old-mom-now” thoughts.  I don’t want to be an old mom.  I may have touched on this before.  In fact…I’m sure I have.  But I’m telling you…there is nothing like having TWO in Jr. High combined with a sweet toddler girl who somehow managed to magically become a 4th grade tween (what does that word even mean???  I sort of hate it), combined with the last year with the baby at home…combined with the daily knowledge that our 5th baby is in Heaven instead of in the now empty nursery upstairs.  I don’t like dreading things.  But I dread next year like I dread hearing that there is a stomach virus going around.  And there is always one of those things going around these days.  I can’t catch a break.

Anyway…I don’t really know what to do with all of these feelings…other than to feel them…and then decorate them with twinkly lights to make them prettier.  Examples…celebrate the heck out of Annslee turning 5, becoming “friends” with all of their “friends” on Instagram, and focusing on the fun fashion that comes with being a tween (Ugh…that word, again.)

And hope.

I realize that God, not only created me for contentment in Him…but also for hope.  He created me for hope in a future.  I am slowly learning how to introduce my contentment with the preset and my hope for what the future holds…and teaching them how to be friends.  Because when those two things are at odds…I start feeling really unbalanced and insecure.

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Twinkly lights are all over the place…in the form of:

Clemson cheerleaders:

Finding her asleep in a self-made cocoon:

Little House in the Big Woods inspired outfits:

Driveway nights:

Kids in a bounce house:

Girls playing dolls in a tent in the backyard:

5th Birthdays (and twirling, for that matter):

and do-it-yourself 4th grade pictures:

Sparkly lights…indeed.

Contentment and hope…

they are all over this page…in these words and these images.  They are everywhere.