i can’t do anything half-way. it doesn’t matter what it is…half way is never sufficient.
this drives chad crazy. half way is okay with him. preferred, even. half way means more gets accomplished. and time is not wasted on things that…seemingly…don’t matter. like cotton ball snowman crafts. or perfectly tied ribbons on wreaths. or white twinkly lights being re-positioned to cover that bare branch. or an extra load of laundry being done to ensure that the christmas gown is ready to slip over my girl for her sleepover. or a frantic trip to the grocery for peppermint ice cream…because the occasion happens to be perfectly accompanied by peppermint ice cream.
details.
i think that love is in the details.
i’m not saying that it’s “right.” but i
am saying that it’s me.
it’s true that no one else would ever know the difference…
but i do.
and to me…
it matters.
a perfect example would be elves drinking syrup from straws.
no…they don’t get into elaborate shenanigans like this every night. but…if i think that i can somehow foster wide eyed wonder and a squeal of excitement…then by golly…all responsibility flies out the window and precious minutes are spent concocting magical elf meetings…when laundry sits, unfolded and the kitchen goes uncleaned.
sometimes…i scold myself. saying things like, “you really should use your time more wisely. you really need not spend a whole extra hour at target combing the isles for things like the perfect burt’s bees baby wash and lotion scent and the best woodsy, yet non-breakable holly berries for our woodland tree. you really should be cleaning the toilets and meal planning and making dinner.”
but i’ll be john brown if…when i see those berries lit up on the tree or hug my freshly bathed baby tight and kiss her soft, blonde wisps of hair and smell that burt’s bees smell…that my heart doesn’t sing happiness.
and you can bet your hard earned dollar that when i quickly hit up pinterest for that recipe that i pinned last week…i get completely and utterly taken captive by the new take on the front door wreath…and spend the next hour constructing it from items that we already have in our house. and consequetly…the recipe is completely forgotten.
but when i see that thing…i swear my heart beats a little faster. because that’s what happy does. it makes your heart pitter patter.
i could easily buy a bag of bows…but that doesn’t excite me like a homemade mason jar dispenser of string does. and if something like this makes hours of christmas wrapping seem like a trip to visit the sound of music’s vontrap family…………then…to me…well…it’s worth it.
i’m a little stressed that i can’t find last year’s picture of annslee and our oak. this tree was planted around the same time that she was…and i have this grand vision of having 18 pictures of annslee growing year by year with this oak. i have already envisioned her positioned carefully in front of it…wearing her cap and gown…and sweetly smiling because she knows how important this sort of thing is to her mama.
there are times when i snap a picture and instantly know…
it’s perfect.
these are some of those pictures.
this morning…i overheard a conversation with flicka and chad. it went a little like this:
chad: “so…what do you think about leaving your pappys out for santa? he can take them to little children who don’t have any pappys.”
annslee (after 15 seconds of careful thought): “NO!!!! thems are MINE.”
so…that’s not going to go over as well as it did with colt. apparently.
****
aiden had her bestest friend over for a sleepover last night. kiki had to move schools…and they don’t get to see each other every day anymore. this is a sad situation for these little girls. but when they get back together…it’s as if they never were apart. and that’s the true test of a good girlfriend.
snowflake had to put a call into santa earlier. boy…
that man must be busy this time of year.
it sure doesn’t seem like thanksgiving is tomorrow.
maybe it’s because i jumped the gun on christmas…and we are one jingle bell short of seeing santa, himself, slip down the chimney. but…when i think back…this day brings some vivid memories to the forefront.
like…in 1997…when my dad flew across the country with me to visit the clemson campus days before thanksgiving. how could i have known how my life was about to change? after walking the campus and visiting with professors…we caught an early morning flight home on thanksgiving…to walk into my parent’s house filled with the smell of a roasting turkey and celery with pimento cheese set out as a welcome home appetizer. i rambled on that day about how much i loved the campus and how i felt like it would be my home for a while.
and then last year…on the very day before thanksgiving…our whole family drove to the woodlands to visit with my old friends from high school. as we sat on the balcony of dea’s house…chatting about memories and life and watching our kids play in the backyard…i watched my girl bravely attempt the monkey bars, where her hands slipped and she fell hard to the hard earth…breaking her left arm.
it’s funny how fast the years spin…
and important memories become just that…
memories.
memories from a past that seem like just yesterday.
****
tomorrow we drive to salado…where the “jamar” side of the family will gather…for the first time in countless years. we used to gather in woodville every thanksgiving…where i would chase after my older, “boy” cousins and try like everything to get them to notice me. i was too young to follow them into the woods…or sleep at the cabin across the lake without any adults…or listen to blaring guns and roses music…but boy did i want to.
this year…after not seeing them for a good number of years…i think i’ll be able to keep up with them.
and for that…
i’m excited.
happy thanksgiving, friends.
it’s a good holiday…
and should be celebrated as such.
