welp…from what i can tell, there is something wrong with blogger at the moment that translates to no uploading of pictures until they get it figured out.
superb.
we are gonna have quite the backlog.
****
so…remember when i was talking about learning my lesson about feeling like i need more and better and all that stuff with the sink? well…apparently, the good Lord didn’t think i had learned enough. because…this past weekend was a doozie of another go-round.
we’ve been needing to get a new (used) vehicle for the last 6 months or so. we are literally driving this van into the ground. i drew the line at driving it when i loaded all 4 kids in it to go see Santa this year and the entire head liner fell down on top of us on the freeway. we are now “those people.” you know? the one’s who thumb tack the fabric back to the roof of their car??? that’s us. although…i think we used little screw tacks…instead of thumb tacks. but…that’s really not much better.
so…our plan was to get me and the kids something to drive around town, while chad takes the suburban to and from work. that way…we still have the ole’ burban to take on trips…but i am not tanking around in a monstrosity, gas guzzler anymore.
so.
we have been talking and talking and looking and looking and finally…FINALLY…chad agreed to trip it on down to carmax this past saturday. we knew we had to buy used and we trusted carmax to not sell us some clanker that had previously been in…like…the state of our van.
we thought we had narrowed it down to a chevy traverse. but while i was test driving the thing…it just didn’t feel like me. now. this is when chad rolls his eyes and says token things like, “beggars can’t be choosers”…but it just didn’t!!! and i can’t help it.
it didn’t help that the salesman kept saying…
“oh yeeeeeahhhh…you’ve got four kids…this is definitely a soccer mom’s car!!”
i just kinda smiled and kept looking at the car…trying to talk myself into thinking that it really could be me. it really could be my car. “does it look like a minivan???” i kept asking.
we were pretty close to settling on a black one…(because black ups the cool points on those types of cars)…when i decided that i needed to look over the different colors one more time. maybe white would seem more like me.
we were walking up and down the rows of the lot…the salesman, my husband and i…when i swear i heard the Lord whisper…
“honda pilot.”
so i blurted out,
“do you have a honda pilot???? i just think i need to look at a honda pilot.”
the salesman began scurrying around…looking for a pilot. i quickly followed behind him thinking…”please be white. please be white. please be white.”
and there it was.
a 2012 white, honda pilot. it was beautiful. i got in it and it was as if the heavens parted and 48 angels began singing the hallelujah chorus as a celestial light shone down on the car.
“this is it” i confidently stated.
“this is my car.”
so…long story, short…chad bought me the car.
poor guy. he didn’t tell me that it was 10,000 over budget once you added in tax, title, licence, loan…and whatever else you add. i swear they start charging you for using the bathroom while in the establishment. “oh……you walked down that hallway???? that’ll be and extra 4 thou.”
anyhow.
i was as excited as a kid at disney world.
i did a happy dance in the parking lot.
i did a happy dance in the guy’s office.
i may or may not have hugged perfect strangers.
i drove my car home in giddy contentment.
****
the next morning…after dreaming all night about my perfect new car…i groggily opened my eyes and chad was standing next to the bed. i’m pretty sure he had been there all night long…waiting for me to wake up.
this is what i heard,
“babe. do you think we did the right thing? i mean, buying that car??”
i flipped over happily…
“yep!!!!”
fast forward.
nope.
after praying and talking and stomping around like a 3 year old…we agreed that we had to take it back.
that’s when the conversation happened.
the saleman kept trying to talk me into a minivan.
and i kept saying, “I DON’T WANT A MINIVAN.”
chad kept saying…”but this doesn’t even look like a minivan.”
and the saleman kept saying, “your a soccer mom.”
and then chad brought out the big guns.
“this car can’t be an “idol” for you. i mean, what is your big problem with driving a minivan???? a lot of people happily drive a minivan. is it pride????”
i thought for a second. i really thought. is it pride???
this is how i answered:
“chad. i need you to hear me. people dress a certain way. right? people dress in a way that represents them. i wouldn’t go buy an expensive pant suit because that doesn’t represent my personality. people decorate their houses in a way that represents them. i do that. you do that. i am not the mom who puts team stickers on the back of my car with my kids names on them or the little stick figures of the dad, mom, and four kids. i will probably never be that mom. i am not a soccer mom. i am a mom who plays soccer. i am most comfortable and find joy in when the tiniest detail of my wardrobe or home decor represents who i really am. i find joy in my horse charm on my bracelet and my beach wood candle on my cabinet. i love to feel at home in my environment. and a car is no different. if we are going to spend thousands of dollars on a vehicle that i am going to drive over the next 10 years…i want to love it. it doesn’t have to be brand new. it doesn’t have to be expensive. but i am not a minivan kinda girl. and that should be ok.”
“i hear you” he said.
“and you’re right. you are not a minivan girl…and that is ok. let’s be patient. we’ll find it.”
****
so…no farmhouse sink.
and no honda pilot in the driveway. for now…anyway.
and it should be said…that if God tells me he wants me driving a minivan…i’ll do it. and i’ll be okay with it.
do those things pull horse trailers??