I Got in His Way. Again.

Who knew that having a kid in Jr. High would take me right back there myself?

It’s as if I’m walking around those halls…arching my back so I look a couple of inches shorter…wearing long, full skirts (that are the least fashionable things that I could put on my body, in case you were wondering) just so I can bend my knees to appear (you guessed it) shorter while standing with a group of boys and girls.  At least I was logical.  I mean…you can’t really bend your knees in jeans or shorts because then people will see.  And then they will know that you are NOT 4 inches shorter than you really are.  I was smart like that.

I actually found myself telling Colt the other day that he needed to give a girl a better head nod than the haphazard hello he gave a “popular” girl that we ran into at his basketball game the other day.

What????!???

Then I had to apologize to him and tell him that I was wrong about that and that his head nod was fine.

What I was responding to was the behind the scene memory that the whole scenario brought up in my own mind.  She clearly wanted his attention.  He clearly didn’t give her what she wanted.  This would clearly result in her not liking him anymore and him losing the chance of having a relationship like all the other kids up there.  Clearly.

WHAT??????!!????

Who am I even thinking about??  Am I identifying with her??  Am I thinking about what is best for him??

Clear…my @$$.

It took my small brain a minute or 20 to realize what I was doing.  I was trying to work out my own 7th grade issues through my son…who apparently has his head screwed on straighter than I did…(or do, sadly).

His reply,

“I’m not interested in having a girl friend right now.  I think it’s stupid to rotate through girls in 7th grade…just because that’s what everyone else is doing.”

Cue the scene in Aladdin when the Genie’s jaw drops to the floor out of shock.

I might as well have been one of the other 7th grade boys…taunting him and ridiculing him for not wanting a girlfriend.

Nice.  Mom of the year award…right here, folks.

Then we talked about how a lot of these kids are already telling each other “I love you.”  They are writing it online.  They are willing and quick to give their hearts away…and I don’t even want to know what else they are willing to give away.

And the fact…that even for a second…I got caught up in it all…just so my kid could be popular…just so I could seemingly “right” my own feelings of inadequacy and insignificance in Jr. High made me sick.  Because that’s the bottom line.  Why else do we, as adults, blast social media with all of our kid’s successes and accolades?  Is it really about them?  Sometimes…yes.  But if we are honest…maybe it’s also about how it reflects on us.  It’s so we can feel good and proud.  But I really believe it’s the kind of proud that we have to be careful with.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever post anything good about our kids.  I’m just saying…it’s a heart matter.  What are we putting out there?  And why?

So…once again…I’m taught by my kid.

Your head nod was fine, son.  You go be well known and liked out there…BUT…be well known and liked because when people talk to you or spend time around you…they leave feeling built up and good about themselves.  Bring out the best in people.  Make them better.  Make them feel cared for and important.  Be well known for that.

One of the first questions I like to ask my kids when they get in the car from school is not “How was your day…”

…but instead…

“How did you show Jesus to someone today?”

And my oldest son can always answer that question.

I have to be careful to not get in their way, sometimes.  Shame on me.

Lesson learned.

Again.

****

I look at you…and my heart beats faster.  You are extraordinary.