I’m realizing how much I need balance. I crave it. But it’s a craving like vegetables. It’s not your first choice…like, maybe an iced chocolate brownie would be. But more understated. Like grilled zucchini and squash. You feel your body needing it…but it’s not your go-to. I don’t often gravitate toward anything that isn’t spontaneous…or exciting…or endorphin producing. However…lately…I feel a pull towards order. Maybe it’s traveling for 3 weeks? Maybe it’s maturity? Maybe it’s going through an unexpected miscarriage? Maybe it’s having older kids? I don’t know? But I am suddenly feeling like more grilled vegetables may be in order. More 9:30 bedtimes. More early mornings. More structure. And wasn’t it just 2 months ago that I was longing for the freedom and lack of schedule that Summer brings. Proof…that I need balance.
The second half of Iowa was bitter sweet. You feel the vacation winding down. Everyone senses the end of something good. Everyone feels the let down. Even the kids know that change is coming. It’s no longer going to be chocolate brownie living. Vegetables are coming. And no one is excited about that.
So…we soak up every minute of it.
We do things like pretend to smoke cigars…
…and light sparklers…
and we settle back and wonder at the magic.
And then we carry all of those images and memories home…and try the best we can to not feel a hole when our days and nights no longer always involve brownies and magic. We return to normal life. We return to vegetables. We return to order. And we begin looking forward to the next time.
We reunite with friends.
We watch the moon rise over the swing set fort…turned pirate ship…and feel gratitude for it all.
So here we sit. 1:00 in the afternoon. Still in pajamas…taking advantage of the lack of schedule and freedom that the Summer holds and appreciating the balance that the Fall will bring.